Adopting a more productive negotiating mindset requires getting rid of some outdated notions about how to negotiate effectively. In particular, four common negotiating myths make it difficult, if not impossible, to create win-win deals.
Negotiating myth No. 1: Negotiating involves competition.
Reality: Negotiations involve exchanging information and resources in order to satisfy the different and sometimes conflicting needs of two or more parties.
Negotiating myth No. 2: Negotiating involves bargaining.
Reality: Bargaining is competitive; negotiating is co-operative. Bargaining focuses on who is right; negotiating focuses on what is right. Negotiating creates long-term deals and relationships. Bargaining agreements never last because the losing party always insists on the chance to come back and get even.
Negotiating myth No. 3: Negotiating always involves compromise.
Reality: Nobody wins in compromise because both sides end up getting less than they want or need.
Negotiating myth No. 4: Effective negotiations involve the use of tactics, trickery and manipulation.
Reality: Honest, ethical negotiators never try to manipulate or deceive the other side. Tactics should only be used in self-defence.
The bottom line is that negotiating business deals has nothing to do with bargaining, compromise and competition. To create win-win outcomes, both sides must:
- strive to understand the other person’s wants and needs
- attempt to solve the other person’s problems as well as their own
- adopt a mindset of flexibility rather than rigidity
- focus on “enlarging the pie” rather than dividing it up
- always aim for win-win outcomes.
This approach may sound “soft” to those who enjoy going toe-to-toe with the other side during a negotiation. However, following these principles will dramatically increase your chances of creating deals that benefit both sides and lead to positive long-term relationships.